Our latest lead comes in the form of a gee-mail message we received from Mr. Delmonte, who has wisely deferred to our superior judgment in the past when it comes to making head or tails of shadowy figures in the world of Squirrels and the threat they pose to Alameda's tree-density-limiting Measure Acorn, colloquially known as "Measure Acorn":
Hmmmm…Yes, my fellow Right-Thinking Alamedans, it has come to this. We already knew that one candidate for the highest office in our land, and perhaps even in Alameda, was a secret Scotsman. Another looks the other way when confronted with blatant Squirrel activity, and now we faced a third, mysterious contender who actually is an admitted Squirrel! Are there no limits to the brazenness of these Fluffy Fascists?
Secret Squirrel for President
We've said it before, and remind you again, that there is no safe alternative in this fall's election but to write in bold Squirrel-Slayer Mike Huckleberry for President, and the even more culinarily accomplished Heidi Wilson as his Vice President.