"But how?" you ask. Well, on Monday, September 24, the Alameda Daily Noose and I bravely published a grumpy letter to the editor from concerned Alamedan Mabelle Spayce-Teleskop. This letter alerted Alamedans everywhere to a growing conspiracy of arboreal allies to blot out the view of the Twin Towers Church. Although we never actually saw what happened, we are certain that a group of right-thinking and torch-bearing Alamedans, roused into action by our warning, must have converged on the Demon-Weeds under cover of darkness, armed only with pitchforks, hedge trimmers, and weed whackers. The gruesome scene of vegetal carnage that ensued is best left to our loyal readers' imaginations.
No, no, no need to thank us, Ma'am; it's all in a day's work for the Alameda Daily Noose and me.