5:51 a.m.: Plaid Flag Warning: No Bagpipe News Stories for Last 3 Days in Alameda Fly-Swatter

Editor's Comments:

On Friday, August 31, 2007, the Alameda Fly-Swatter published one news story about Bagpipes. During the subsequent 3 days, the Fly-Swatter has published no news stories about Bagpipes. Subscribers and daily purchasers of the Alameda Fly-Swatter are not getting their money's worth and are being bamboozled into purchasing the paper by its title of Alameda Fly-Swatter, mistakenly believing that they will be able to read news stories about Bagpipes and other menaces kept in check Alameda's all-important Tartan-limiting "Measure Angus." Shame on the Alameda Fly-Swatter for shirking its responsibility to report news stories about the ominously inflated threat that Bagpipes pose to our Treasured Island. The misleading title Alameda Fly-Swatter should be changed to what it actually is - the Oakland Cage Liner - or, if there were any truth in advertising, the Not-from-Alameda Peace-and-Quiet-Destroying Bagpipe-Hugger!

Roger Grumbel