Alameda must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a Squirrel shaped cloud.
It's trains--not girls
That he takes out"
The Alameda Daily Noose and I are very grateful to Mr. Shave for alerting us to the dark, Squirrel-shaped clouds of peril gathering on the horizon. We are grateful that he was able to take time out from his busy career as a hobo to write to our soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper. We had never considered the tactical advantages of riding around the country in open boxcars and sleeping under the stars, all the better to keep a watchful eye on the Bushy-Tailed Menace. We ask all Right-Thinking Alamedans to pause this morning over their breakfast cereal for a moment of silence (no Rice Krispies, please!) in honor of Mr. Shave's selfless sacrifice of his own love life in the call of duty.
Monday, July 14, 2008