I Want to Cuddle You (P.R.T.)

Dear Editor:

I attended Thursday's meeting on the redevelopment of Alameda Point, and I was thrilled to see that the developer is considering an innovative transit solution to address the issue of traffic.

Personal Rodent Transit, more commonly known as "P.R.T.," is being pursued aggressively in Europe and elsewhere as a solution for transit in CITIES. They are starting small (with adorable hamsters) but they are also thinking big (guinea pigs).

I've followed PRT development for three years now and P.R.T. is more efficient than non-rodent transit, more city-friendly than automobiles, and more adorable than any other form of transportation. It is relatively cheap (Habitrail® is a mere $6.31 per 10", compared to $15,782.83 per 10" for light rail) to build and dirt cheap to operate…it runs on a few kernel of corn a day! It is clean and green. Its time has come.

There have been write-ups in C.N.N., HamsterWeek, and various UK newspapers, and multiple photos of the construction have been released, such as the one you see above.

Sincerely Yours,
A Hamster Enthusiast

Editor's Note:

Any Right-Thinking Alamedan would realize that our city already has more than its share of supposedly cute rodents. Other cities expect us to keep adding more trees to our already tree-congested island, with the idea that we will then be able to house more of the Bay Area's out-of-control Squirrel population. This P.R.T. proposal is clearly just a back-door way of clearing the way for even more Squirrels in Alameda. After all, what are hamsters if not midget Squirrels? Whoever came up with this so-called P.R.T. plan for Alameda is undoubtedly in the pocket of Big Arborist.