Alameda Daily Noose Welcomes 10,000th Visitor

Yesterday, the Alameda Daily Noose and I welcomed the 10,000th visitor to our soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper. We're not sure whether this visitor was a "new bee" (which is what the kids today call a greenhorn on the interwebs) beholding our site for the first time, or a grizzled veteran pressing the "refresh" button on his browser for the 100th time, hoping to see some thrilling dispatch from the front lines of the Global War on Squirrels. It might even have been one of those "Spam Boughts," which we understand are so-called secret shoppers for large processed meat conglomerates who scour the interwebs for the latest prices on canned spiced pork products. Well, Mr. Spam Bought, it's only $2.27 at the Dusty Shelves Market, where the Alameda Daily Noose and I shop for those delicacies we can't seem to find at that hippie grocery store.

Wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, right, the 10,000th visitor! Although the Alameda Daily Noose and I are far too modest to boast about it, we are simply bursting with pride over the fact that nearly one seventh of every man, woman, and child in Alameda has visited our site, or pushed the "refresh" button, or checked the price of canned pork. We would say we couldn't have done it without you, our loyal readers, but the truth is that you couldn't have done it without us!