Friday, December 21, 2007

So Tell Me, Johnny, Have You Been a Right-Thinking Little Alamedan This Year?

Yes, it's the time of year once again, when people all over Alameda are thinking of that certain someone who's been watching over them, keeping track of who behaves well and who crosses that line that might get their names put on a less-favorable list. They've been busy writing him letters and sending them off to his remote and mysterious base of operations, eagerly anticipating a response to their entreaties. Every night they go to bed dreaming of how they will rush down the stairs in the morning to discover the surprising and delightful treasures, all wrapped up in bright, colorful packaging, that have appeared as if by magic while they slept.

It is therefore with heavy heart that the Alameda Daily Noose and I must inform you that we will not be publishing our usual hard-hitting Monday edition next week. It's been a busy year, what with so many people being naughty enough to earn one of our signature tch-tch-tch-ings, so we will be taking Tuesday off, too. In fact, we've been so good this year that we deserve a nice long stretch of private time, so we'll be on Holiday Hiatus until our triumphant return on January 2nd.

Of course it will be hard for you to get along without us, but please, be strong. If you have trouble making it through the Hiatus, you can always revisit a classic Noose item, such as our beloved and timeless Fourth of July, Labor Day, Columbus Day, and Thanksgiving specials.

The Alameda Daily Noose and I wish you and all your Right-Thinking friends and family a Very Contrary Christmas, a Chutzpah-Filled Chanukah, a Querulous Kwanzaa, a Cynical Solstice, and a Grumpy New Year!

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