Some Hamburger Guy Thinks He Knows More about the Alameda Daily Noose Than the Alameda Daily Noose and I
Dear Mr. Grumbel and the Alameda Daily Noose:
I am glad to see that you published our letter of congratulations and that you have placed our WebBadge™ heralding your "McDonalds® Website of the Month™" upon the sidebar of your illustrious noosepaper.
However, I am a bit confused. Just below that in the sidebar, and also as mentioned in the Editor's Note for the July 29 Edition, it says "soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper." Well, my esteemed friend, "soon" has happened!
I respectfully request that you no longer refer to the Alameda Daily Noose as "soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper." If I might make a suggestion, you could refer to it is a "McDonalds® Website of the Month award-winning daily noosepaper" instead.
The Alameda Daily Noose and I are sorry, but this is August, not July. We did enjoy the congratulatory photo and we were mildly amused by the little Interweb Dingus you let us use last month, but we are still waiting for the exciting award package you promised to us to arrive. Ever since that British merchant based in Dubai offered to fund our orphanage, not to mention the time we won the British Lottery, nor those cryptic messages from our Brazilian fans, nor the offers from marriage-minded Russian ladies, nor the equally tempting offer for that oil-drilling job Malaysia, nor the alluring jewelry-maker who wanted our number, nor the Burkina Faso co-ed who offered us $1.4 million for advice on her education, and to say nothing of Miss Vickie from Brazil and her riddle about a-lyin' in our bed, we are beginning to get just a tiny bit suspicious of those who transact their business on the intertubes; after all, this is not the first time we have been promised an award that has yet to arrive.