Thursday, February 26, 2009

Alameda Daily Noose and I to Be Awarded $1.4 Million by Burkina Faso Beauty

The Alameda Daily Noose and I recently received the message below from Claira Justin Yac, who is obviously an avid fan of our noosepaper. Because we are unfailingly generous and kind, we jumped at the chance to be of assistance to this elegant and resourceful young woman, with her uncanny ability to perceive nobility of character. Besides, with the current economic downturn, we could use some money from a grateful heiress more than ever. Ms. Yac should be on her way to Alameda now, since we've already pawned some of our orphans and used the money to send her a one-way plane ticket to Alameda International Airport.

Ms. Yac mentioned her desire to complete her education at a nice university like the College of Alameda, but we can do better than that. What education could surpass an unpaid internship at a soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper? We are sure that everyone concerned will be much happier as soon as Ms. Yac arrives in Alameda with her checkbook.

- Dearest,I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. My name is Claira Justin Yac , 24yrs old, female and I held from South Sudan. My father Dr. Justine Yac and my mother had been on board when the plane crashed on Friday May 02, 2008. After the burial of my father, my uncle conspired and sold my father's properties and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I traveled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money so that I can start a better life and take care of myself. On my arrival, the Branch manager of the Bank told me that my father's instruction to the bank was the money be release to me only when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well, I will say that my mind convinced me that you may be the true person to help me. More so, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncle have threaten to assassinate me. The amount is $14.9 Million and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso. However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 10% of the total money for your services. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely.

Sincerely yours,
Claira Justin Yac.

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