As usual, I really enjoyed your Oscar predictions, but one tiny thing about them struck me as odd. Every year I'm on tenterhooks wondering who will win the award for best sound mixing, and this time I was just sure "The Dark Knight" had it all sewn up. I mean, the sound mixing on that film was so great that my husband was frantically trying to swat at the bats he thought he heard flying around in the auditorium! Anyway, I watched the awards ceremony, and I remember being shocked that "Slumdog Millionaire" took the honor, and yet that doesn't jibe with your 100% accurate list of predictions. Is something amiss, or am I just going a little "batty"?
The Alameda Daily Noose and I are outraged that you dared to question the accuracy of our predictions, but since you are an otherwise Right-Thinking Alamedan who obviously doesn't know much about the movie industry, we are willing to let it slide this time.
Yes, something is amiss alright, and it is the judgment of the so-called Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. They were wrong when they robbed "Paul Blart: Mail Cop" of the honors for best picture, just as surely as they were wrong when they overlooked its stunning cinematography, avant-garde directing, masterful film editing, moving score, irresistibly catchy song, ground-breaking sound mixing, and innovative writing. How could they pass over such an obvious example of genius in favor of yet another feel-good family film about some dog that becomes a millionaire? Tch-tch-tch!
Just shift the words of "happy" to "we" and "go" to "screwed" and "lucky" to "up" and "world" to "Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences" and "did it" to "didn't do it" and "Hyuu! Hyuu! Hyuu! Hyuu! Osu! Osu! Osu! Osu! (Ai!)" to "We failed to recognize the genius of 'Paul Blart: Mail Cop'! (It's the best film ever!)" and "Yatta!" to "Roger Grumbel and the Alameda Daily Noose were right!" and shift the tempo from fast to slow, the mood from happy and upbeat to despondent and contrite, and the setting from Japan to Hollywood and you'll have this year's theme song for the Academy Awards:
Tuesday, February 24, 2009