Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Brazilian Beauty Makes the Alameda Daily Noose and Me an Offer We Can't Understand

Late yesterday morning, at around 8 o'clock, the Alameda Daily Noose and I were checking our "gee-mail" when we ran across this item from a certain Miss Vickie. According to our technologist friend, the ".br" in her "gee-mail" address indicates that she resides in Brazil, which means she is drop-dead gorgeous and colorfully dressed.

With this image burning in our mind, we eagerly printed out her message, sealed it in an envelope, tore it open, and read with wide-eyed amazement:

Although we appreciate the fact that Miss Vickie tried to address us in our native tongue, we can't help but notice that Alamedan does not seem to be her first language. She seems to be asking us to ask ourselves if we want to be a-lyin' in our bed, but her spelling and punctuation leave a lot more to the imagination than the types of outfits we picture her wearing.

We are also puzzled by the picture of a big cat trying to eat some things that look like a blue pork chop, an orange, and one of those brown organic free-range, cage-free, free-love eggs you find at that hippie grocery store. Doesn't she know that the Alameda Daily Noose and I hate cats? And what could all this possibly have to do with our sleeping habits?

We would love to ask Miss Vickie some follow-up questions, but apparently she's only interested in visiting with us if we want to be a-lyin' in our bed. As one of our many Brazilian fans, she should know that the Alameda Daily Noose and I are no good-for-nothing lie-abeds!

Yes, the early bird gets the noose-scoops, investigative reports, and daily noose of Alameda, so we're always up and crowing before every cock in town. Alas, our love affair with this beautiful bird of the tropics will never take flight, for the Alameda Daily Noose and I are far too busy scratching and pecking around in the dirt of the great journalistic barnyard that is Alameda.

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