Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Nancy K. Filson Says Something Has to Be Done about Her Neighbors

Dear Editor:

I have read Letters to the Editor discussing problems with the Megaplex, Measure Acorn, Squirrels, Law-breaking Realtors, and so much more. But none of this compares to the troubles that I want to tell you about: My next-door neighbors.

Let me begin by describing the indescribable deeds put forth by the family adjacent to us on the West side. They have a dog that barks. Constantly. I have taken detailed counts and this dog has barked perhaps twelve or thirteen times in a single week. That this is intolerable goes without saying.

This same neighbor often dares to park their car in front of my house.

And let's not forget their children. It sounds like I am living next to an insane asylum. Often I hear screeching and squawking at all hours of the morning and the afternoon. Thank goodness they keep their windows closed most of the time! And once in a while I hear the sounds of these children out in their back yard — actually, what's worse is that I can actually see these little monsters above the fence that separates our yards. They are usually sitting down in some box filled with sand (perhaps stolen from our local beaches?) blabbering on about this and that. Absolutely inconsiderate if you ask me.

Now you may think this odd, but one evening last October, these children (strangely dressed for some reason), with their parents prodding them on, had the nerve to ring our doorbell and ask for candy. It was some odd ritual happening that evening because not only did they bother us, but several other families from around the neighborhood did the same!

What really lights my fire about this family is that for some reason, our postal carrier often delivers their mail into my mailbox! Are they truly trying to drive me mad? Every six months or so I get fired up enough to take the stack of letters over to their house and shove it forcefully through their door.

Now you think this is bad, you have to hear what my neighbors to the East do. Late at night, if I happen to be awake to go powder my nose, I often hear incessant coughing coming from the house. During the daytime, however, I don't hear a thing. What are they up to over there? It's downright creepy. I rarely see anybody go in or out of the house, and when I do, it's often somebody in a nurse's uniform. Are they playing some kind of strange game over there?

There is a bit of a foliage issue as well. There is a tree that sits just on their side of the property line that blocks my view of the sunrise. It's unbearable, and I can't do a thing about it. I have half a mind to go knock and their door to complain about that tree, but I find that it's much more effective to call 911 and tell the police about it. One of these days I'm sure they will come out and do something about this nuisance!

You think I'd be done talking about my neighbors, but there is one more! What's that, you say? How can you have another neighbor if you've talked about both sides of your house? It's a trick question, because there are also neighbors behind us, and they are the worst of all! They have a garage unit right up against the property line, and there are no gutters on the roof, so every time it rains, the water slides off the roof and lands in my garden. Thank you, dear neighbors whom I've never seen, but I get plenty of water from the heavens above my own property, I don't need your water as well. Especially when it lands right on my geraniums and nearly drowns them.

So as you can see, none of the issues that have been covered in this Noosepaper are of any significance when compared to the troubles that I have with my neighbors. What can I do to make this stop?

Warmest Regards,

Nancy K. Filson

1 comment:

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