Scoop! of Accolades Starts 2009 Out Right

The Alameda Daily Noose and I are used to receiving a lot of praise for our journalistic excellence, but even we were pleasantly surprised by the flurry of accolades we have received in the new year. On January 3 alone, no fewer than four enthusiastic readers wrote us seven times to tell us how much they love our soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper, a new record for adoration. One of these excited readers, undoubtedly a very attractive woman who makes jewelry by hand, even went so far as to ask for our telephone number, but we must inform her with a deep blush that the Alameda Daily Noose and I are already taken.

Now, the Alameda Daily Noose and I are not up on all of the latest interweb slang that the kids today are using, so we're not sure what a "lol" is, but we can only assume that it's a good thing. We are a little concerned by the fact that some readers appeared to use the word "blog" to refer to our soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper. Normally we would be highly offended by the suggestion that we have anything in common with those Boring, Lame Online Gossip Shops, or B.L.O.G.S.; however, we are going to be charitable and assume that these youngsters are so new to the noose business that they simply don't understand the important, fundamental, and completely obvious differences yet. In fact, it seems that the only criticism our readers have of the Alameda Daily Noose is that there is not more of it. What these poor souls don't seem to realize is that you can never get enough soon-to-be-award-winning noose.