Sunday was a beautiful day in Alameda's parks, but warning signs were posted which stated:
"Feeding wildlife...can lead to unnatural or aggressive behavior."
As all Right-Thinking Alamedans know, there is a certain type of wildlife that is naturally aggressive. Therefore, feeding Squirrels must make them unnaturally aggressive even for Squirrels!
We can never be sure that radical elements in Alameda have not been strategically feeding the Squirrels, so the only sure way to be safe is to stay far away from any trees. That might require avoiding all parks, apart from the ones that are planted entirely with Kentucky bluegrass.
Despite the warnings, many people did go into the parks on Sunday.