I am just so excited by this news, I can hardly type the words into my typewriter. But I just had to write my regular column for the Alameda Daily Noose to inform my fellow right-thinking, GREEN-thinking Alamedans about the best news to hit Alameda since, well, since Global Warming caused the whole "green" movement to get the boost into the limelight!
Yes, I'm talking about my favorite store, Wal-Mart! I always knew this was a green business but it turns out that due to the high Green- ness of Alameda, they have just opened up a new flagship store here on the island, occupying the entirety of the recently-discovered military base known as "United States Naval Air Station Alameda." Although I'm sure I'll use WalMart.com for my pajama-shopping needs (shopping IN my pajamas, not shopping FOR pajamas), it will be nice to have a Wal-Mart that we can reach without going to a foreign city.
This 1560-acre shopping complex calls itself "Greenest Shopping in America" and I can hardly wait to find out why! I haven't been there yet — We're piling into the Hybrid Hummer® as soon as I submit this article — so I can't tell you the specifics. But since I trust Wal- Mart, like I know you do too, I know that this store will be a greenie's dream, and a welcome addition to Alameda. Why don't you come on down and check it out too. Maybe I'll run into you there!