As Grumpy As They Wanna Be

Rog,

The official tallies are in from the 18th Annual Alameda Cultural Heritage Education Society's Celebrity Grump-A-Thon last week. Two participants suffered minor strain in their jaw muscles and were treated and released from Alameda Hospital (but not until after some vigorous complaining about that darned parcel tax!), and five others claimed to have rant-related dehydration, but that's not the fault of our organizers.

As usual, our most popular category by far was that old crowd-pleaser #12, "People Regularly Parking in Front of My House." However, our most generous donations came from a pair of anonymous local solar power enthusiasts who each pledged 50 cents an hour for the topic, "Those Sorry Excuses for Fish Wrap Nobody Reads." And boy, did the complainers go on a tear with that one!

We could thank all of our other donors, but we tried that last year, and it was more work than it was worth. We couldn’t even tell if any donors pledged again this year as a result, and besides, some of us are burned out from writing so many checks to A.C.H.E.S. ourselves. To those who didn’t pledge, thanks for nothing!

Janice Lighter-Merv