5:43 a.m.: Today's Fish Wrap Delivery will be . . . Omigod, Like, Totally TARDY, LOL! ;-)

Alamedans who subscribe to home delivery of the Alameda Fish-Wrap or the Oakland Cage-Liner did not find those so-called papers on their porches this morning, nor did they find them stuck between their doors and their screen doors, nor in their driveways, nor even on their front lawns. According to a recorded phone announcement on the papers' home delivery phone line, "If you are calling regarding the Oakland Cage-Liner or the Alameda Fish-Wrap and you live in the cities of Alameda, Oakland, Emeryville or Piedmont, today's delivery has been delayed to 10:00 a.m." No explanation was given as to the cause of the delay, but I would not be at all surprised if it were due to the fact that the Fish-Wrap's editors were busy stealing all of their stories from the Alameda Daily Noose and me. It's clear that they are reeling from their huge mistake on Tuesday, when they got like, totally confused by our coverage of Cap'n Everett's birthday. Somehow they misinterpreted our explosive story as an "explosive device," thereby causing undue distress to Cap'n Street's nearest and dearest, to say nothing of our good personal friend Marelene Verloren. Shame!