April 1, a Great Day for the Alameda Daily Noose and Me

The Alameda Daily Noose and I received some very interesting—in fact, almost unbelievable—tips on stories that we could have run today, but they will have to wait, because today is a very special day for the Alameda Daily Noose and me. You might say that this day is what our work is all about. Yes, that's right, April 1 is the day we announce the winner of our Alameda Daily Noosiversary Quiz, which was formulated to measure your Alamedaness Quotient.

We received a number of quiz responses with a perfect score, and from this pool, we randomly selected our winner. Congratulations to Mr. Lou D'Fan, whose fabulous prize is the mention of his name in this Alameda Daily Noose exclusive article on our history-making quiz! We can't imagine any greater honor than having one's name mentioned in these august pages.

For anyone who was foolish enough to miss the deadline, don't despair; today is your lucky day! You can still measure your level of Alamedaness by taking the quiz now, and comparing your answers to Lou D'Fan's:

1. d
2. d
3. d
4. d
5. d
6. d
7. d
8. d
9. d
10. d

The Alameda Daily Noose and I are very busy with investigative reporting, and so don't have a lot of time for scoring quizzes, so it's a good thing that we came up with our easy-key system. This also makes it easier for you to calculate your Alamedaness. First, take the number of "d" answers and multiply it by 100. This is your Alamedaness Quotient, or A.Q.

• If, like Mr. D'Fan, your A.Q. is a perfect 1,000, then your Alamedaness is second only to that of Chuck Corica, who we are sure would have scored at least 1,001.


• An A.Q. 700-900 makes you an honorary member of the Alameda Cultural Heritage Education Society (A.C.H.E.S.).


• An A.Q. of 400-600 shows a level of Alamedaness that we might expect from someone who lives here but perhaps hasn't been paying enough attention.


• If your A.Q. was 100-300, you're probably not from around here, but are still Right-Thinking on some issues.


• If your A.Q. did not even rise to a measly 100, it is clear that you are none other than John…Knox…White.

Fortunately, the Alameda Daily Noose and I did not see any John…Knox…Whitian levels of A.Q. in our pool of respondents. Perhaps "Dr. Manhattan" finally took the hint and left town.