"Alameda" Puppy Trainer Scores Big, Fat Zero on Scale of Alamedaness

The Alameda Daily Noose and I have it on good authority that some reporter at the Alameda Puppy Trainer recently had the nerve to describe the Alameda Daily Noose as "a local news-themed Internet [sic] site." How many times do we have to remind people that the Alameda Daily Noose is a soon-to-be-award-winning daily noosepaper? We are not running any mere Interweb "site," much less one of those boring, lame, online gossip shops (B.L.O.G.S.) to which certain people seems to be so fond of comparing us.

Furthermore, the Alameda Daily Noose isn't just "news-themed"; it is the news for this city, as would be obvious to anyone who had taken the time to test their Alamedaness with our special Noosiversary quiz. Today is your last chance to submit your answers. At 5:00 p.m., we will close the door on all further entries in the contest for our mystery prize. We will announce the winner in Tuesday's edition of the Alameda Daily Noose, even if we have to stay up all night scoring the entries, carefully cross-checking each one against our top-secret answer key. That's just part of the job for a Noose Man in the Classic Sense.