Thursday, March 27, 2008

How Right Is Your Thinking? Take the Alameda Daily Noosiversary Quiz!

Today, the celebration of the beginning of our Interweb archiving continues with our Alameda Daily Noosiversary quiz. A special prize will go to the Right-Thinking Alamedan with the highest score. Of course, all of our loyal readers should be able to answer the following questions with perfect accuracy, so we will draw a random name from among those whose answers are 100% correct.

1. The best restaurant in town is:

a. Ole's Gruel and Hardtack Hovel
b. Gym's Coffee Clutch
c. either of the Wienerschnitzel fine German dining establishments
d. the Rusty Scupper Family Seafood Restaurant on the Alameda Riviera

2. The one thing that protects our high quality of life in Alameda is:

a. Measure Acorn
b. Measure Angus
c. the Alameda Daily Noose and I
d. all of the above

3. Anyone who manages to get elected to public office in this town must, by definition, be:

a. an idiot
b. too clever to be trusted
c. in the Developer's Pocket
d. all of the above

4. The only place to buy groceries in Alameda is:

a. the enormous new Safeway
b. Lucky, which the Alameda Daily Noose and I never called "Albertson's"
c. that hippie grocery store where you can buy prunes in bulk
d. Dusty Shelves Market

5. Traffic in Alameda is:

a. as bad as it was when the base was open
b. worse than Manhattan, Mexico City, and Bangkok combined
c. not my fault, because I have to drive
d. all of the above

6. The only good Bagpipe is:

a. one fighting with a Squirrel
b. locked safely in a closet thanks to school funding cuts
c. close to convenient mass transit in a Tartan-Oriented Development "node" with a large concentration of other Bagpipes
d. a dead Bagpipe

7. The Super-Mega-Monster-Plex That Everyone Hates is all the fault of:

a. Squirrels
b. people who don't even live in Alameda
c. the Mayor
d. all of the above

8. The Alameda Daily Noose's 2,000th interweb visitor resides in:

a. Alameda
b. Brazil
c. China
d. definitely China; the Alameda Daily Noose and I know this for a fact

9. Next to Squirrels and Bagpipes, the greatest threat known to Alameda is:

a. John Knox White
b. so-called traffic calming devices
c. people regularly parking in front of my house
d. all of the above

10. The best number of questions to ask in a soon-to-be-award-winning quiz is:

a. 165
b. 9
c. 26
d. 10

Submit your Right-Thinking answers by jotting them on an otherwise useless issue of the Alameda Fish Wrap "newspaper" and slipping it under the door of Alameda Daily Noose World Headquarters. Or, for the technolo-savvy reader, type your answers into a gee-whiz mail message addressed to rogergrumbel@gmail.com and hit the "send" dingus. All answers must be received by 5:00 p.m. on March 31st, 2008, in order to qualify.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

don't you mean YUPPIE grocery store, Alameda Daily Noose?