A correction to my previous email - I found the Mayo, it was right where my wife said it would be…behind the peanut butter. The jar was placed there with remarkable foresight by her on February 24, 2008. I have attached a photograph. Given that Mayonnaise is made of eggs, one could be forgiven for thinking that a competent spouse would keep it with the rest of the dairy products on the third shelf, where any Right-Thinking Alamedan would expect to find it.
I want to apologize for blaming my wife for using all the Mayo, when in fact she's only just stupid about where she keeps the stuff in the fridge.