Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Bushy-Tailed Terrorists with Toxic Chemicals Dance across So-Called Newspaper's Front Page

The Alameda Daily Noose and I never read those sorry excuses for Alameda "newspapers" that litter doorsteps all over this town. However, we have it on good authority that the Alameda Puppy Trainer, despite warnings that We Are On To Them, continue to allow Squirrels to run rampant through their coverage of supposedly unrelated "news" items. Just look at this quotation from last Thursday's front page:

"The proposed plan, if implemented, would leave uncharacterized industrial-type wastes in a condition vulnerable to future releases by seismic damage, shoreline erosion, site inundation and incursion by burrowing animals," such as ground SQUIRRELS, wrote George Humphreys, co-chair of the RAB.
It's almost as if the "editor" of that so-called paper is goading the Alameda Daily Noose and me by inserting references to Squirrels on purpose. Of course, everyone who works on that rag is far too ignorant to understand how offensive seemingly off-handed Squirrel references are to Right-Thinking Alamedans. Even if they were aware of it, they aren't even competent enough to tie their own shoes, let alone weave such a fiendishly cunning web of deception.

Of course, just because the Puppy Trainer can't possibly be conscious of how irksome they are, that doesn't mean we are going to let them off the hook. Anyone who mentions Squirrels as much as they do deserves to be treated with suspicion.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Please duly note one modicum of outrage from a Right-Thinking Alamedan. Thank you.

-- Coho Jerkins