We've heard a lot of crazy ideas about how to get people on and off the island once Alameda Point is packed full of people living on top of each other like a huge bed of mussels. Why, those scheming developers have touted everything from human cannonballs aimed at Oakland to some untested technology called "Bus Rapid Transit" which supporters claim is like light rail only without the rails. Ridiculous! But most ridiculous of all is this whole idea of Jetson-like "Personal Rodent Transit."
How is it that everyone in this town keeps overlooking the real solution to our unique transportation problems? What we need is PRT, which stands for "Personal Rabbit Transit." As you can see from the photo I've included, PRT has proven feasible in numerous simulations, and the test subjects seem to enjoy the free cowboy hats that come with the ride.
The last thing we want is to have more half-wit drivers careening around town in their hybrid cars and diesel trucks, I mean have you seen the way people drive in this town? I don't want a bunch of untrained, unqualified drivers trying to run me down on my way to the rabbit stop, and until we have a good rabbit system that gets people to BART, no-one is going to get out of their cars, especially not the speed-demon maniacs in my neighborhood.
Seriously folks, Alameda needs to make that giant leap to a fluffier, more grass-powered future. Personal Rabbit Transit just makes sense, so what are we waiting for?
Friday, September 19, 2008