Alameda Daily Noose Soon to Be No Longer Soon to Be Award Winning

The Alameda Daily Noose and I are pleased to announce that our relentless coverage of our soon-to-be-award-winning status has paid off! And when we say "paid off," we mean to the tune of roughly 910,150 U.S. dollars, depending on the exchange rate. Here is the official letter that we received with the happy news that we are now soon-to-be-almost-millionaires:

From: Dell@ms1.vianet.ca 
Sent: Tuesday, September 2, 2008 3:18 AM 
To: rogergrumbel@gmail.com 
Subject: PROMOTIONAL AWARD 
 
Dell Award Notification 
 
We are delighted to inform you that you are one 
of the THREE LUCKY WINNERS whose e-mail address 
won the sum payout of 500,000 pounds.(Five 
Hundred Thousand Pounds Sterlings Only) in the 
DELL ELECTRONICS SEASONAL AWARD 2008. 
 
Please be informed that all participants were 
selected through a computer ballot system drawn 
from over 30,000 company and 50,000,000 
individual email addresses and names from all 
over the world. To file in for your claims, 
contact our claim's agent  with your 
information as provided below: 
 
Brown Williams 
Email:dell_claimsunit101@yahoo.com.hk 
 
Full Names:......Country:....... 
Tel:......Marital Status.........Sex....... 
Age:.... Occupation:.... Nationality:....... 
Residential Address: ......... 
How Do You Wish To Receive Your Funds? 1. Cheque 
Delivery by Courier 2. Direct Bank Transfer 
 
Mrs Maureen Graham(Information Officer) 

The Alameda Daily Noose and I are honored to be chosen for this season's award. We are so eager that we simply can't wait for some slowpoke courier to bring us what we so richly deserve, so we're sending Miss Graham-Cracker our bank account number right away. We only hope that we have figured out how to spend all that money by the time we win the award for the next season!