After Nightmare Vacation, Former City Council Candidate Is Tanned, Rested, and Ready…to Complain!

Editor,

I just got back from a trip to the island nation of Vanuatu, and boy is it good to be back in the island nation of Alameda again, with all of its problems. There was nothing to complain about on vacation! The weather was great, the scenery was gorgeous, the food was mouth-watering, and all of the natives were friendly. Even the in-flight movies were good on the way there and back. I couldn't find a single thing to complain about for days on end, and it nearly drove me crazy! Now I see why that snake of a travel agent gave me such a good deal on this trip…I wasn't even able to complain about the price!

I tell you, I was so desperate to hear the sound of complaining in Vanuatu that I rented a car just so I could park right in front of somebody's house. I got pretty excited when a real live Vanuatuan came out. Just when I thought he was going to start shouting, though, he just smiled and hugged me. I pushed him away, then I pointed at my car, and then at his house. He just laughed and invited me in to taste some coconut crab his family was cooking up. And it was delicious! Can you imagine how frustrating this was for me?!?!

Thank goodness I'm back in Alameda now. I could feel the bitterness starting to flow through my veins again as soon as I got my first glimpse of those Zeppelin mooring masts on top of the new parking garage as they came into view over the horizon. Yes, I am tanned, rested, and ready to dive back into the unspeakable muck of Alameda's dirty politics and the everyday annoyance of so-called traffic calming doohickeys and oh, so many things to complain about!

Sincerely annoyed,
Former City Council Candidate