Thursday, February 21, 2008

Despite Subcommittee's Best Efforts, Forum on Housing Will Take Place on Saturday

History will not only be made, but also destroyed this Saturday, as Alameda's Planning Board dares to ask so-called experts what effect housing regulations have on development in general. All those present, from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. in Kofman auditorium, are sure to be in the pockets of high-rise-apartment-hungry developers.

In a rented back room in some kind of computer store in downtown San Francisco, auditions were held recently for pro-development cheerleaders to speak at this unspeakable event. Each applicant was required to answer the following ten questions in front of a panel of judges and a studio audience consisting of hundreds of mindless yuppies who aren't even from Alameda:

  1. Who should drive the planning process at Alameda Point?
  2. From what stakeholders would you seek input?
  3. What are your top four priorities in planning a new community?
  4. Who should benefit the most from the utilization of land at Alameda Point?
  5. What is the recipe for creating a successful neighborhood?
  6. What are Alameda's four greatest assets?
  7. What person or persons do you most admire?
  8. What is your primary source of income?
  9. What are your four greatest strengths?
  10. In conclusion, what is your opinion of SunCal?
The Alameda Daily Noose and I were able to smuggle out some footage of one of the more well-received speakers who was vying for a position on the completely biased panel. Prepare to be shocked as you watch him answer the questions above:

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