Friday, February 26, 2010

Green Living by Janet Marchant: Hats Off to Our Green Heroes!

We all know people in our community who deserve a medal for their tireless work to save the environment, but did you know that those green heroes can now receive an actual military honor? From what I've heard, it requires intense training, but those who successfully complete the course are awarded a Green Beret, and are qualified to take part in special operations. I can only assume that those special operations include challenging missions like cleaning oiled waterfowl, rescuing baby harp seals, and battling Spartina with some sort of amphibious combat gear. The wearing of the Green Beret must signify an ability to do all of this while also enjoying a dizzying variety of wines and cheeses, and being able to produce nasal vowel sounds that the rest of us only dream of. Oh, and I hear that their green pick-up lines are simply irresistible!

I hope I'm right about all this, because it's exciting to think that even with the difficult wars going on right now, our country cares enough about the future of our planet to assign green warriors to protect it. I mean, the U.S. Army has long been one of the greenest on the planet, but those olive drab uniforms can't really compete with the vibrant green of a Green Beret. We are taking environmentalism to a whole new level. So look out, evil polluters and careless consumers; the Special Forces will soon have you whipped into clean, green shape!

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