Sunday, February 7, 2010

Dave Williamson to Take Alameda Daily Noose in Exciting New Direction

Dave Williamson, better known to all Right-Thinking Alamedans as the Alameda family man who single-handedly defeated the Evil Developer in the Final Battle of Alamedageddon, otherwise known as the February 2, 2010, special election, plans to bring his vast expertise as a Silicon Valley technologist and entrepreneur to bear in his new role as Editor-in-Chief, Ace Reporter, Pulitzer-Prize-Eligible Photographer, President, Vice-President, Chairman, and Publisher. We here at the Alameda Daily Noose managed to secure an exclusive interview with Mr. Williamson, who spoke with us from his opulent yet tastefully understated Alameda home.

Alameda Daily Noose: Tell us about your plans for the Alameda Daily Noose.

Dave Williamson: Well, we here at the Alameda Daily Noose have big plans for the future. Now, don't get us wrong; Roger Grumbel is a great man, but the Alameda Daily Noose as a brand was growing somewhat stale under his direction. This is understandable, given the way his vision is so narrowly limited by his training in dead-tree journalism. We Silicon Valley technologists understand that today's journalist needs to be intuitively adapted to the agile synergy of the Web 2.0 crowd-sourced ecosystem at higher and higher clock rates. This means leveraging every strategic opportunity to monetize mindshare while incenting brand loyalty.

ADN: Come again?

DW: We're going to put ads on the site.

ADN: Oh, OK. Anything else?

DW: We're planning a massive rebranding campaign to re-launch the Alameda Daily Noose, repositioning it as the premiere example of what everyone is calling "Noosepaper 3.0."

ADN: Don't you mean "Noosepaper 2.0"?

DW: No. We're so advanced, we skipped right over that.

ADN: Wow, "Noosepaper 3.0." That sounds pretty exciting! So, what exactly does this mean in practical terms?

DW: We're changing the colors.

ADN: Anything else?

DW: Did we mention the ads?

ADN: Yes.

DW: Well, let's just say we have a lot more than that up our sleeves.

ADN: Like what?

DW: Oh, look at the time! We're afraid this interview is over. We're so glad we were able to take time out from our busy schedule to give you the opportunity to talk with us.

ADN: Uh…you're welcome.

DW: The pleasure was all yours, we're sure.

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