Thursday, February 4, 2010

Tired of Monthly Air Raids on Alameda

Dear Roger,

What can be done about these monthly attacks by Terrorists?

Every month, almost like clockwork, Alameda is attacked. This has happened for years now. I hear the air raid sirens go off near my house. (It seems to happen right as I'm getting ready for lunch, near the beginning of the month. Come to think of it, I think it always happens on a Wednesday.) It happened just a few minutes ago, in fact, as I write this from my fallout shelter.

(See the attached picture - I'm very proud of the job I did in building it myself, nearly 40 years ago.)

A few hours after each attack, I carefully emerge from the shelter to check if my house is standing. Fortunately, the terrorists have not yet destroyed my house or my neighborhood, but I feel sorry for the neighborhoods that have been attacked, especially if right-thinking Alamedans live there!

Each week after the attack I check the Alameda Daily Noose, and even other noosepapers if I can find them lying around in the gutter, to learn more about this attack. And yet, there is never any mention of the previous day's attack!

Has this reign of terror become so commonplace that nobody even bothers to report about it any more? Alamedans are dying here, and there is never a mention of this. We should do more to honor our fallen brothers.

When will our Mayor declare war on the terror that is striking us on a monthly basis? Is this yet another reason that we must replace Beverly Johnson with a new mayor, one who will fight Terror with Terror? We must find a foreign country that we can blame for these attacks so we can send our young soldiers away to fight the terror on its home soil.

Ever vigilant,

Xavier Snowleopard Jr.

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