Alameda Puppy Trainer Stained by Fallout from Messy Journalistic Scandal!

The investigative Journalism team of the Alameda Daily Noose and me—actually, the only remaining investigative journalists in the entire country since Woodward and Bernstein retired—has recently uncovered a scandal at the Alameda Puppy Trainer so-called "news"-paper. We have documented several instances of patently false photojournalism.

Every week, the Puppy Trainer publishes a photo of a family from Alameda, on vacation somewhere in the world that is not Alameda, supposedly "reading" the paper while somebody takes a picture of them.

After thorough investigation using a magnifying glass on the print edition and the "enhance" command on the computer edition of the Puppy Trainer, we have determined that these are staged, manufactured events such as the bombing of the Reichstag during the Viet Nam War, or, closer to home, the infamous Squirrel "False Flag" Operation of 2008. In none of these photos are any of the family members actually reading the paper! The people in the photo are not even looking at it; they are clearly looking at the photographer or the camera itself. We find these photographs so deplorable that we do not dare to show an example here. (Plus, we don't want to get sued.)

We believe it is a travesty upon the integrity of journalists around the world that a so-called "news-paper" would insult our intelligence and dare to claim the falsehoods that they perpetuate throughout perpetuity. We call upon the Alameda Puppy Trainer to cease publication of such staged photographs and instead let their photographers and writers report real, true events, as the Alameda Daily Noose and I do every single day.