Monday, May 19, 2008

Why So Many Letters?

Dear Mr. Grumbel,

I've noticed a distressing turn in your no-doubt-soon-to-be-award-winning Internet news stand of late. Most of your recent material comes not from you, but from various letter-writing cranks. Well, rest assured. I am no such crank!

I read the Daily Noose to leverage your keen insight into the world and its many problems - including but not limited to Scotsmen, Squirrels, and unnecessary theaters - for my day-to-day existence, not to read some local boor drone on about this tax or that meeting. You deprive the public of your wisdom at your peril, young man!

Also, have you sampled any new types of oil recently? Some of the synthetic models are getting quite sophisticated, with this new car-going-improvement, or CGI, technology. I'd like to read your thoughts about them. Your thoughts - not the prattling of housewives like myself.

Get back to the work you are meant to do, and never relent in your battle against all that threatens our Natural Rights. I refer of course to Squirrelless trees and being able to park in front ouf our houses.

Yours warily,
Agnes Fergussone

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