The Alameda Daily Noose and I don't read those Boring, Lame, Online Gossip Shops (B.L.O.G.S.) ourselves, but we understand that some of them have been trying to employ humor to further their destructive agendas. In doing so, they are stealing our work. It was the Alameda Daily Noose and I who came up with the brilliant idea of including a joke or two along with our serious, hard-hitting coverage of local events, so anyone else who mixes humor and purported reporting, however incompetently, ought to pay us royalties. We will not name those B.L.O.G.S. that have been violating this principle, not because we can't remember what they are called, but because it would only encourage them.
Stealing other people's ideas is not funny. An example of something that is funny would be, say, the notion that anyone would want to go see that new Iowa James movie at the Super-Mega-Monster-Plex That Everyone Hates. Why, the movie itself won't be worth the price of admission. It has some ridiculous title that's too dull to remember, but it should have been called Idiotic Jerk and the Temple of Dumb. Heh, heh. That's actually pretty funny. But we digress.
Even assuming that people are curious about this new movie, maybe because they did enjoy the first three, after all, why would they want to watch it in Alameda instead of going to one of the mega…uh, cineplexes that are conveniently located near the border of our Treasured Isle? Ha! It is to laugh. But in case you were thinking of spreading the mirth, hold it right there! This entire noosepaper is copyrighted by us, and may not be reproduced in any form, with or without the permission of the editor.