Fat Cats Dance on Ruins of City While Right-Thinking Alamedans Mourn Opening of Megaplex

The Alameda Daily Noose and I weren't there, and wouldn't have gone if you'd paid us to, but we have it on good authority that last night's so-called gala opening of the Super-Mega-Monster-Plex That Everyone Hates was a disgusting spectacle.

Several of the perpetrators of this un-Alamedan development exhorted their minions to enjoy the new, ridiculously small theaters, as well as the only partially restored historic main theater. The very idea that anyone could enjoy this kind of theater, which is so obviously wrong for Alameda, shows how blinded by greed the City and the Developers are.

Apparently, the majority of those present celebrated, unaware that the project is already a failure. We hope they are happy to have irrevocably ruined the character of our city.