Thursday, May 8, 2008

Golf Course Use Down over Last Year, As Shown in Journalistic Investigation That Has Nothing to Do with Squirrels

Last spring, the Chuck Corica Golf Complex was teeming with activity, but observant Alamedans have noticed a slight change this year. The grass on the course is just as green as it was then, and the water hazards just as beguiling, but it seems that some users have been lured away by newer, larger golf courses, and perhaps even by the restoration of marshes elsewhere in the Bay Area. Bay Farm Island's population of egrets and other water-loving birds has started to decline as the flighty, ungrateful things try walking the greens in other communities.

The Alameda Daily Noose and I conducted an in-depth investigation of this alarming decline yesterday. The results were telling. In an exclusive Alameda Daily Noose interview, we asked long-time greens keeper Flip Mulligan how many egrets had made use of the golf course recently. His answer confirmed our suspicions: "Egrets? We've had a few," he said, and after a moment's consideration, added, "but then again, too few to mention." He was further able to clarify rumors regarding a recent sighting of a birdie on the course. It turned out to not be the kind of birdie we were investigating. To date, there is no plan for how to reverse the downtrend in waterfowl on this particular course.

If the Alameda Daily Noose and I were obsessed with Squirrels—which we most certainly are not—we would have asked greens keeper Mulligan if he had seen any lately. We were careful to point out our failure to ask about this to Mr. Mulligan, and, with only the tiniest bit of prodding, he concurred that we are not, in fact, obsessed with Squirrels.

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