Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dave Williamson Provides Some Little Known Facts


Here at Inaction Alameda, rumors have been flooding into our news desk that the lunchtime "Chef's Surprise" today at Ole's Gruel and Hardtack Hovel is actually a meat loaf sandwich made from the remains of yesterday's "Meat Loaf Parmigiana." Clearly, no-one liked the meat loaf the first time around, so they are going to try to disguise it. This lack of transparency, especially in connection with a sandwich, is disturbing at a time when sandwich interests are destroying our town.

Other rumors currently flooding into our news desk include a sighting of Bigfoot yesterday in Washington Park, a reminder that swimming within an hour of eating will cause stomach cramps and drowning, and a juicy tidbit about Alameda's Planning Board. According to our exclusive tip, not a single member of the Board has ever gone through an entire meeting wearing pants. Now, some may argue that Board members appear to be wearing pants before and after meetings, but is it any coincidence that their legs are completely hidden during the meetings? Failure to disclose this pantslessness is a clear violation of the Brown Act, and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Stay tuned for more hard-hitting gossip and hearsay, as soon as it washes over us. Journalistic integrity: Inaction Alameda News is soaking in it!

Dave Williamson
Inaction Alameda News

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