Reader Floats Theory on Rising Traffic

Editor,

I looked out my window yesterday to make sure no-one was parking in front of my house, and what did I see but a Zeppelin off in the distance! I called the authorities, and found out that it came here all the way from Germany. I told you this would happen! That darned theater is attracting Zeppelins from all over the world. The skies will be thick with them.

Back in the 1930's, when the Alameda Theater first opened, the economy was in the dumps, and the Zeppelin traffic was horrible. Now that the theater is open again, it's dragging us all back down that same path. What curse from the 30's is next: all those young whipper-snappers doing the jitterbug in the automat, disturbing us Right-Thinking Alamedans as we try to enjoy our 5¢ pieces of pie?

I hope the City Council is happy that their approval of the theater renovation, and the accompanying garage with its Zeppelin mooring masts, has caused a national economic crisis and local Zeppelin traffic problems. And it's only going to get worse.

Lon Geddoff