Monday, October 13, 2008


Roger, I have an Alameda announcement...

Pay heed my friends for it is with sad heart and heavy hand that I write you all today. For today we willingly donate our beloved sunflower plants to the Squirrels of Alameda. We have fought long and hard, but our fury friends have proven to be driven, fearless, and very hungry. Today they are the victors and the ruling backyard mammals of our Park St home. Heres to ya little buddies......


Editor's Comments:

The Alameda Daily Noose and I are horrified by this latest Sciurine assault on our unique quality of life. This tragedy would never have occured had the City Council had the foresight to set height limits on flowers. Clearly, any plant which even approaches the size of a tree only encourages the Squirrels, which is why Right-Thinking Alamedans need to stick to Kentucky Bluegrass, and avoid any of that shady "alternative" landscaping.

Their meal may have made the Squirrels stronger, but it has also made Alameda wiser. Never again will our precious sunflower seeds fall into enemy hands.

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