Tuesday, January 15, 2008

New Arrival to Alameda Bravely Defends the Town He Fell In Love With Against Those Who Would Destroy It

Dear Roger,

As did all Right-Thinking Alamedans, my wife & I forsook a City That Is Not Alameda and moved to the Treasured Island, drawn by its bucolic splendor and ample parallel parking in front of our house. We especially loved the half-built mega-plex that usurped most of the parking on Santa Clara Avenue.

Imagine our shock when we learned that construction on the mega-plex has continued, even nearing completion! Mr. Grumbel, we did not relocate to Alameda just so buildings could be finished willy-nilly right under our noses! We expect things to stay exactly as they were when we arrived: ACLO reviving DAMN YANKEES, trees barren and lifeless, and a half-finished garage/theater forcing the closure of Oak & Central during the busiest traffic times. These are the treasured memories of our very recent past. Let us not sully them by continuing to work!

What's next? Days getting longer instead of shorter? I'll have none of it!

Gruffly yours,
Morman Nailer

Editor's note: The Alameda Daily Noose and I can only assume that by "mega-plex" the author means the Super-Mega-Monster-Plex That Everyone Hates. Normally we would jump all over any "new bee" who made such a glaring gaffe, but we like the cut of Mr. Nailer's jib, so we're going to let it slide.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can only echo the concerns expressed my Mr. Nailer who hit the proverbial nail on the head. That stinking mega-plex has been marching along toward completion without asking anyone how they felt about it. How dare the mega-plex! Next thing you know that mega-plex is going to spur foot traffic, late night shopping and eating and, barring a sudden trend toward sanity, mocha lattes at Peet's after 10 p.m. Egads, editor, can you imagine right thinking Alamedans bouncing off the Old Masonic Temple hopped up on caffeine after catching a sequel to The Milagro Beanfield Wars at the Alameda CineMultiMegaPlex-Plex?