Squirrel-Hugger's Pathetic Attempt at "Trash Talk"

Dear Editor:

I was a bit taken aback by your piece on the upcoming "Measure Acorn" debate being held by the City of Alameda Democratic Club. I was under the impression that this was to be a free exchange of ideas on the potential benefits and challenges posed by urban wildlife in our community. The notion of a violent conflict involving personal, physical attacks on those with differing opinions was the farthest thing from my mind when I accepted the invitation to participate, and I do not recall any mention of "wrestling" in the description of the event.

I'm sure that all those involved intend to engage in a spirited tug-of-war of ideas, and nothing more. The purpose of debate is not to determine a winner, nor even a loser, but to stimulate thought and discussion, and perhaps lead the way to a mutually agreeable conclusion at some future date. No doubt, Ms. Karl and I share a great deal of common ground on the subject of Squirrels, and those commonalities may well come to light once we sit down together in a public venue to elaborate upon our seemingly disparate positions.

Respectfully,
Elaine Hollandaise
Co-Chair, D.A.R.L.I.N.G.

Editor's note: Ms. Hollandaise—if that is her real name—is obviously unversed in the conventions of "trash talk." The Alameda Daily Noose and I can only hope that she wrestles better than she "disses" her opponent. We think we can speak for all V.I.P. pass-holders when we say that if we don't leave with at least one decent bloodstain on our garments, paying a full $50 will have been a complete waste of our hard-earned money.