Local Karate Expert to Offer Self-Defense Classes

Well, summertime is finally here, and you know what that means: hot dogs, corn on the cob, picnics in the park, and vicious attacks by killer Squirrels! Our collective gut tells the Alameda Daily Noose and me that 90% of all Alameda picnics end in terrifying scenes like the one shown here.

Don't let this happen to you! Shinobi Risu, who has earned a black belt in the ancient martial art of karate, can teach you the very same methods employed by the ninja to defeat the fierce and crafty Squirrels that plagued feudal Japan. Japan is a country that, much like Alameda, consists largely of islands. Classes are filling up fast, so call 522-2208 today to reserve your place!