Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Outraged Alamedan Donald Kirkland Sets the Record Straight on So-Called Mayor's Legacy

Rog,

I am OUTRAGED that some half-witted Alamedans have been giving our mayor credit for single-handedly tearing down Alameda's own Berlin Wall that separated the Post Office from the rest of South Shore Center. Sure, she may have uttered those now-famous words, "This wall must come down!" However, if the Post Office was already in rapid decline, rather than in the ascendency that she believed, then the massive masonry build-up at South Shore Center in the 1960s was not decisive; it was excessive. The terrible pedestrian bloodshed in the road leading to the Post Office was not some necessary evil; it was a war crime aided and abetted by the mayor's administration!

The credit belongs to the many ordinary citizens who ended the government blockade of the shopping center parking lot with their own hands, demolishing that soulless wall by any means available to us. I have a chunk of that wall displayed on my mantelpiece, complete with a fragment of revolutionary grafitti, as a reminder of the time when Alamedans could not walk freely from grocery store to mail slot.

I realize that it's tempting to give the mayor credit just because something she worked on appears to have turned out OK, but right-thinking Alamedans know better than to satisfy themselves with this easy solution. After all, we FEEL that the mayor must be wrong, and so it's just a simple matter of figuring out why!

Donald Kirkland

3 comments:

NoFactsDave said...

Donald:

Of course the mayor is wrong. She's wrong about everything. All of us correct thinking Alamedans, who LOVE Alameda more than anyone else, know this to be true.

However, I am concerned about the tearing down of the wall without the proper environmental documentation. What are the short, medium, and long term ramifications of the wall coming down? Will it lead to flooding at Alameda Towne Centre? And, of course, what effect will it have on the children?

I'm afraid Unaction Alameda will have to look into this matter to determine if the wall should go back up or stay down. Whatever we decide be assured a law suit will follow.

NoFactsDave

Anonymous said...

Er, wasn't the actual phrase "Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall".

:)

Donald Kirkland said...

Well, that may have been what the Gipper said, but it's NOT what the mayor said. I know I got the quote right because I read it in an investigative report printed in the June 25, 2007, edtion of an award winning daily newspaper that NEVER makes mistakes. Unfortunately, that great bastion of journalism doesn't maintain an archive, nor does it permit anyone else to maintain one, so you won't be able to check up on my claim. I hope you're not doubting the accuracy of my source, though, because then I'd have to get OUTRAGED!