Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Jimmy Ward Asks, "Why Do My Parents Hate Ice Cream So Much?"

Dear Mr. Grumbel,

My parents are mean. They say because we are in a bad a conomy, we cant always have five cartons of ice cream in the freezer. I demanded that they always keep all my favrite flavors in the freezer, but they said to stop talking about it all the time, because that much ice cream doesnt fit in our family budget. They are wrong though because it has nothing to do with the budget.

I don't even know how much ice cream costs so how can they say that I'm trying to tell them how much money to spend on it? They should just get the ice cream and then figure out how to pay for it. They'd better not take it out of my allowance though because I need that money. Oh and they better not cancel our cable TV or stop bying Super Golden Crispy Sugar Smacks either cause those are neccessecities.

They won't listen to me which is mean. Why do my parents hate ice cream so much? Ice cream has milk kids need for strong bones so I guess they want my growth to be stunned and break both my legs, but I guess theyd like that cause they probly hate kids too. Mister Grumbel will you tell them that they have to get five cartons of ice cream every week no matter what?


Jimmy Ward

Editor's Comments:

The Alameda Daily Noose and I think little Jimmy makes some very good points in his hard-hitting grumpy letter to the editor. Isn't it about time Right-Thinking Alamedans started gathering signatures for a ballot measure to mandate minimum ice-cream stocking levels? After all, healthy bones and teeth are too valuable to let crumble away.