Lon Geddoff Fails to Appreciate Our Fair and Balanced Squirrel and Bagpipe Coverage

Editor,

I realize that we don't need any more Bagpipes in this town, especially not in my neighborhood, but why is the Alameda Daily Noose publishing so many stories about the lack of Bagpipe stories in other newspapers, while completely ignoring the Squirrel Threat? Why, it's been a whole week since you've printed anything about those acorn-scarfing trouble-makers. Whenever I'm not looking, I'm sure they are out in my yard, destroying my Kentucky Bluegrass. How are right-thinking Alamedans supposed to keep up with developments in the Squirrel Problem if you're not reporting on it? Would you stop droning on about the Bagpipes for long enough to give some attention to the real issues affecting my property value, like Squirrels and people regularly parking in front of my house?

Lon Geddoff

Editor's Comments: Lon Geddoff used to understand just how unbiased we are—he even told us so himself—but suddenly he fails to appreciate our Fair and Balanced coverage of the twin threats facing Alameda today, Squirrels and Bagpipes. Lon should be praising the yeoman service we perform for this town, day in and day out, instead of nitpicking about our perceived lack of Squirrel coverage. The Alameda Daily Noose and I will publish an item on Squirrels when we're darned good and ready, not when some armchair editor tells us to. As the great noosepaper publisher Paul Masson famously said, "We will print no whine before its time!"