Thursday, October 25, 2007

Perfectly Fair Questions About Alameda's Future


Here are some questions for the would-be developers of Alameda Point:

Have you ever tried to run through the Caldecott tunnel while it is full of Squirrels? I didn't think so. And yet, that is exactly the scenario that Alameda commuters will be facing if unrestrained implementation of tree plans are allowed to go forward.

Also, who will be willing to live or work at Alameda Point, given that the current levels of Squirrel traffic are almost unbearable, and any further tree development will only exacerbate the situation, leading to a nightmare of cultural complicity and despair that will force us to enlist the help of a professional high-tech Squirrel control firm like the one mentioned in the chilling video above?

Finally, have you ever tried to scream for help with an acorn shoved down your windpipe? No? Well, then, exactly how do you sleep at night knowing that you are placing hundreds of families—many of which include adorable children—in exactly that sort of peril?

These are all fair questions. In fact, I would even say they are gorgeous. I wrote them myself.

Dave Williamson

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