Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Entire Executive Staff of Inaction Alameda News Teaches Jane Sterner a Hard-Hitting Lesson in Journalism

An Open Letter to Jane Sterner, If That Is Her Real Name

Jane - when we published our shocking exposé of your illicit ties to Big Apple, we had no idea you would seize the opportunity to drag the good name of Inaction Alameda News through the mud in a shameful letter to the editor.

We would have been happy to have called you directly to verify the reports, but you have been so rude as to always be ahead of us while waiting on line at the bakery, repeatedly, and made so many personal attacks against us by flagrantly disagreeing with us in various cooking forums, that we felt little interest in initiating direct contact. How could we forget the way you viciously mocked us for stating in a guest editorial in the Alameda Puppy Trainer that apple pie is not, in fact, made from apples at all, but from 36 delicious Ritz® crackers? Then as now, your weapon of hate was the letter to the editor, with which you relentlessly bullied us by calling us "incorrect" and - even now, we shudder to think of it - "wrong."

We here at Inaction Alameda News are hard-boiled news men in the classic sense. We put our lives on the line every day to bring you all the latest hard-hitting rumors and gossip, but surely we can't be expected to pick up the telephone and talk to somebody who might not be nice to us. I mean, we might get our feelings hurt, and how could we possibly continue reporting the news after an unpleasant experience like that? You need to educate yourself a little about journalism before you start beating up on us journalists.

The total record is here for everyone to see – the rumors, and your denial of them. You should get down on your hands and knees and thank us for the invitation and opportunity to publicly refute the rumors that are circulating by word of mouth, especially now that everyone has read about them in our newspaper.

Thanks for reading Inaction Alameda News!

Sincerely yours,
Dave Williamson
Editor-in-Chief
Inaction Alameda News

Dave Williamson
Ace Reporter
Inaction Alameda News

Dave Williamson
President, Vice-President, Chairman, and Publisher
Inaction Alameda News

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dave, you are a class one jerk!

Anonymous said...

Dave Williamson should buy his shirts one size larger than he currently does. Those small shirts are unbecoming on him.

Not Anonymous said...

Anonymous your just jealous because Dave Williamson is a good writter who can figure out which facts are the right ones.

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