Alameda Daily Noose Special Election Guide

There's nothing like an election for making people righteously grumpy, and the Alameda Daily Noose and I expect today's vote to be particularly grump-inducing. For those who can't be bothered to read any "information" about the measures on today's ballot, just follow our all-purpose Generic Election Guide, which is every bit as useful now as it was in November, if not more so.

Remember, a "yes" vote on propositions 1A through 1E will send the clear message to our legislators that we Alamedans want a tough spending cap to prevent our tax money from being wasted on frivolous programs like education, road repair, and health services, and that we are ready and willing to tax ourselves to pay for vital programs like education, road repair, and health services.

A "no" vote, on the other hand, will send the clear message to legislators that we Alamedans reject the gimmickry of an arbitrary spending cap that will starve vital programs like education, road repair, and health services, and that we adamantly reject all tax increases that will be squandered on frivolous programs like education, road repair, and health services.

As for 1F, it is clearly a trap of some sort, because we can't imagine why anyone would vote against it. Therefore, the Alameda Daily Noose and I advise everyone to vote against it, unless you suspect that those bums in Sacramento are trying to use reverse psychology on us, in which case you should vote for it.

As usual, the Alameda Daily Noose and I will nobly abstain from voting in this election.