Adoring Fan Lays Some Gilt on the Alameda Daily Noose and Me

The Alameda Daily Noose and I have just received a welcome-back gift from an adoring fan who explained that she had picked it up at an auction last year, but then realized that she didn't have enough clear wall space in which to hang it. The Alameda Daily Noose and I don't have that problem, since we are always careful to keep plenty of wall space open for displaying any plaques and certificates we might receive for our excellent journalism and other fine achievements. We were happy to accept the beautifully framed mirror, which not only allows us to admire our dashing looks, but also has the rare property of scattering and deflecting any feelings of personal responsibility that may arise in the course of investigative journalism or other ordinary daily activities.

The "guilt mirror," as this type of looking-glass is commonly known, is apparently enjoying a resurgence in popularity. Many people in Alameda are becoming increasingly aware of environmental or societal problems for which they might be inclined to feel some blame, but the guilt mirror reflects those feelings in such a way that, to the eye of him who gazes into the mirror, the guilt lands squarely on other people.

We understand that the fan who put in the high bid on this valuable heirloom still has not gotten around to sending her check to pay for it, but that's really none of our business. We plan to simply enjoy our new gilt-framed guilt mirror in the manner in which it is meant to be enjoyed: guilt-free.