Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Clean-up Planned for Alameda's Most Toxic Sites

The Inaction Alameda Alameda Daily Noose by Inaction Alameda has obtained a list of Toxic Personality Superfund Clean-up sites located in the city of Alameda. This list includes a record of the many citizens' complaints about hazardous, threatening, disruptive or just plain annoying behavior originating from each site. There are far too many complaints about each Toxic Personality to reproduce here, but to give our readers a quick sampling of highlights, #1 has done damage to both public and private property with a crowbar and a car, #2 has been involved in public fistfights, excessive air horn use, sifting through other people's garbage and other dirty activities, and #4 consistently fails to clean up after a little white dog while walking it past other people's houses.

The Toxic Personality Superfund list did not include the names of these individuals, but the Inaction Alameda Alameda Daily Noose was able to use the geographical coordinates of the clean-up sites to plot their locations on this "map" which we tore out of a "phone book" and attached to a piece of "cardboard" with the use of some "tape."

The colored "push pins" indicate the locations of the Toxic Personality Superfund Clean-up sites. Notice that they are clustered in and around the over-privileged Gold Coast neighborhood of Alameda. It's about time someone did something about these hoity-toity blots on our landscape, going around blowing their air horns at all hours of the night for no good reason. We always have a perfectly fair reason for blowing our air horns. Usually, the reason is that it's the best way to demonstrate how effective they could be in an actual emergency.

In addition to the colored "push pins" on the map, there are also some metal "push pins" that have little to do with this story. Just ignore them.

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