Recent census figures show that currently, 160 residents of Alameda are chicken. However, we here at the Inaction Alameda Alameda Daily Noose dispute that number. Clearly, many more residents of the island city are scaredy cats, considering that this is the only local noose source with the guts to do real investigative journalism, bringing frightening facts to light. And if so few Alameda residents were chicken, and therefore afraid to read those frightening facts, our readership would be even more phenomenally large than it already is.
Based on our own infallible estimates, the number of residents who are chicken must actually be closer to 20,000, including a certain former and acting editor who doesn't just come out and say that he is unjustifiably critical of how much time we put into the Inaction Alameda Alameda Daily Noose. Instead, he insinuates things in little "Editor's Comments" attached to what he views as important Noose items. We would just like to point out that no-one asked for his opinion.