Wednesday, December 16, 2009

In Scathing Response, Little Jimmy Demolishes Little Johnny's Flimsy Arguments

Dear Johnny,

I am writting this to answer your stupid letter from yesterday. Remember what the teacher told you in math class – you dont know what a fact is and what an opinion is.

The facts are the facts. The people that read my letter can draw a conclusion – or not – of whatever they want to from them. They can even draw a picture of stupid Johnny in your stupid Stuperman Underoos if they want to. After all I found the package in your garbage and you never denyed it not even once so you agree I was right all along.

Sounds like you are pretending to know a lot of stuff you do'nt really know and just repeating things that people say about you, even though you dont' understand them.

Jimmy Ward

Editor's Comments:

The Alameda Daily Noose and I have to hand it to little Jimmy Ward. His perceptive, thoughtful, and thoroughly original critique of little Johnny's letter systematically demolished each and every one of Johnny's weak attempts at arguments, tearing into them like some kind of unstoppable argument-demolishing machine. The way this kid shines at anything he undertakes reminds us of—dare we even think it, much less say it?—a young Chuck Corica!


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